How to Let Go of Resentment, Anger and Bitter Feelings

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Resentment is Poison. Forgive and move on. Free Ebook.

Resentmentful, angry and bitter feelings can do us a lot of harm. If you are not aware that this is the case, you just need to become honestly aware of the effect that such feelings have on your body to see that they are not good for you. This is especially if true if hatred or loathing come into the mix. The sickly, cold, poisonous sensations which come with bitter, resentful feelings – especially if you are thinking of vengeance as a way to express your resentful feelings – ought to be a warning to not go any further with the line of thinking that you are on. If you were drinking or eating something, and it had the same effect on your body as such feelings, you would most likely spit is out again very quickly. You would recognize it as toxic. Such feelings can also be very painful. Download Free Forgiveness Ebook

If you were drinking or eating something that had the same effect on your body as resentment you would quickly spit it out.

Vengeance and Hate

Vengeance and hate, can hold a sickly fascination. But, they are highly poisonous.

Feelings of vengeance and hate, can hold a sickly fascination. But, they are poison even if their sickly sweetness sometimes fools us into thinking otherwise. There can be a sticky obsessiveness about them, which can make it hard to let go of them and to break out of the thinking that supports them. Bitter feelings come up which bring up bitter thoughts: you keep remembering what “they” said or did. You find yourself in a loop: the more you think about it the more the resentful, angry, feelings come up; and the more those feelings come up the more you obsessively think about it. Keeping your body and your nervous system in a constant state of being on the alert can be painful and exhausting and that is why things like anger and depression, and anger and anxiety problems, often go together. This can lead to insomnia and other stress related ailments.

You might start gathering evidence from other people to “confirm” your feelings about the person or situation, You try and find people who will agree with you, and you become angry or dismissive of those who don’t. You might even decide those who don’t agree with you, “are not my friend”, as they are “not on my side”.

People who disagree with the basis for your resentment and animosity are the ones who are really on your side; not the ones who agree with you. Beware of false friends, who may have their own agenda.

However, in reality such people, who disagree with the basis for your resentment and animosity, are the ones who are really on your side. They are on the side of the better part of you. They don’t want to see you caught up in a bitter, angry state of mind. Nor do they want to join you in it. Beware in case you have false friends, who may have their own agenda, if they encourage resentment or animosity in you. Download Free Forgiveness Ebook

From Love to Hate

The person you resent so much may even be someone you “love”, or “loved” in the past. You have a love hate relationship or can simply be someone you “love to hate”. You may even want to know how to let go of the past, how to let go of someone you loved either because of the painful feelings that come up or because you know it is not right ot think of them in such a dreadful way.

Much of the pain we blame others for, can actually be from the painful feelings we are now holding onto about them. Resentment and acrimony are painful feelings.

Often the pain we feel about the past is not only from what someone else did to us, much of the pain can be from the painful feelings, such as hate or bitterness, that we are holding about them. Sometimes we are causing ourselves at least some of the pain we are blaming someone else for, owing to our inability to recognise the damaging effect that such feelings have on us. Hatred, bitterness and anger are painful, because they are damaging us.

Hatred, bitterness and anger are painful, because they are damaging us.

Acrimony, Animosity & Antagonism

Resentment can start mild and then descend into acrimony & antagonism if we allow it that to happen.

Resentment is a feeling of dislike or being angry at something or someone because you have been hurt by them; or treated badly or unfairly. Feelings of acrimony (ongoing bitterness and ill feeling) can arise from resentment, if we hold on to it for too long. This can, in turn, lead to animosity or antagonism, which is where things descend into active hostility – this makes resolving the underlying issues much more difficult.

What we do to “defend” ourselves is often experienced by the other as an attack.

If someone is prone to holding a grudge, easily gets indignant, or is prone to malice, then these tendencies can flair up, especially if an excuse to be resentful is around in order to fan the flames. People can all to easily convince themselves that something, which is if no real consequence, is justification to take offense and become spiteful or go off in the huff. We may take umbrage at a general annoyance; or have a feeling of pique from being irritated or resentful of a real or imaginary slight to our pride. Yet, often such things can be caused by a simple misunderstanding, miscommunication, or the offended person making assumptions about the motives and actions of the other, which may be entirely misplaced or even completely wrong. The subsequent “defensive” actions by the offended person (which in their mind are entirely justified) may cause the other person to be at the receiving end of what they see as an unwarranted or unjustified attack. What we do to defend ourselves is often experienced by the other person as an attack, or the preperation for an attack – which they may feel oblidged to counter and “defend” themselves against, in turn.

Situations often escalate through a sequence of what each side believes is a purely “defensive” action against the other.

Tense situations often escalate through a sequence of what each side believes is a defensive action against the other. Where there is a standoff and mutual fear or animosity, each side can easily convince themselves that the other is ‘bad’ and the aggressor, whereas they see themselves as the innocent, and ‘good’ one, and they believe that whatever they do, no matter how horrific, is forced on them in order to defend themselves. A non-involved third party might have trouble telling them apart in terms of who is right or wrong as they both may have descended into a morass of cruelty and immorality. They often refuse to see their part in the descent into brutality and inhumanity and only blame the other.

Breaking Free of Resentment, Bitterness, Acrimony, Animosity & Antagonism

In order to break out of the obsessive thinking patterns which maintain feelings of resentment, bitterness, acrimony, animosity and antagonism you need a method for changing your thinking patterns. However, trying to repress you thought and feelings is not the answer, as they that can just cause them to go underground and come out in another way. You need to redirect your thoughts; but you also need to deal with the underlying feelings too. This is where The Four Steps to Forgiveness comes in. It works on many levels at the same time. It helps you redirect your thoughts and to let go of the unhappy feelings associated with those thoughts. Through The Four Steps to Forgiveness your thoughts and feelings are not repressed in any way they are simply redirected in a more constructive direction.

Through The Four Steps to Forgiveness you can let go of resentment, anger and bitterness. You can learn to manage your thoughts and feelings and be more in charge of your life. It can even act as a form of Do-it-yourself anger management, or therapy, which can support any help you get from an actual therapist.

Try The Four Steps to Forgiveness yourself. Download it from this page (Its and immediate download. You don’t even need to put in an email address in order to get it).

Written by: William Fergus Martin