Four Steps to Forgiveness – Step 2 Tips
Step 2 is about acknowledging how the pain we felt from the event still shows up in our thoughts, feelings and actions. Breathing out with a sigh can help a lot with this step as it is a signal to your nervous system to “let go” which fits in well with saying, “I let go of this anger…” or whatever. If you are not sure what you feel, it can help to make a rough guess and correct this as you work your way through the steps a few times.
You can also include physical sensations in what you want to release. “I release these feelings of prickly, cold numbness”. This is especially useful if you are not aware of specific emotions around the issue, but are aware of physical sensations, then you can just use the physical sensations instead. If you later become aware of emotions you then start to include them too.
If your feelings are vague, just describe them as best you can at this time; “I release this sort of hopeless feeling”. “I release this unclear, sort of sticky, cold porridge feeling”. Even vague feelings can lead to wonderful breakthroughs, so don’t let the vagueness of your feelings hold you back if that happens around an issue.
If you get really stuck in this step and some big issue comes up you may need to release a build up of long held feelings first. You could use more active forms of release such breath work, co-counseling, and the like. If you feel that you need more support, then best to talk it through with a trusted friend, or see a counsellor if it feels too big an issue for that. However, it can be well worth putting more attention on the other steps, and lightly skipping over this one for a while, to see if that helps to shift things enough to get your feelings moving again.
Written by: William Fergus Martin