How to Forgive

You may have been taught that you “should” forgive, but that is not the same as being taught “how” to forgive. (Download our Free Ebook which shows you how to forgive)

Perhaps you feel that you need to be forgiven, or you need to forgive yourself. It might be that you want to forgive someone who has hurt you, or you might even be wondering if God can forgive you for something you have done (more on that in the, “Does God Forgive Me?”, section further down the page). There are many reasons why you may be interested in learning about forgiveness; how to do it and how to be forgiven. However, even if you are mainly looking to be forgiven it is always good to learn how to forgive. For one thing you will be feel more able to accept forgiveness when you learn to be forgiving of others.

Many people get stuck when they try to forgive someone, or try to forgive themselves. This is often because they just don’t know how to do it. They may have been taught that they “should” forgive, but that is not the same as being taught “how” to forgive. Forgiveness, like many things in life, is much easier if you have a method.

Why You Need a Method to Forgive

If forgiveness is not already a part of your normal life you need a method to learn it properly.

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Some years ago I was giving a talk to a group of Asian business people who were visiting the area I live in. The topic of forgiveness came up as I had mentioned this website.  One lady asked, “Why is it that we can’t forgive?”. I answered, “Probably the main reason why you can’t forgive is, because nobody has shown you how to do it” As my reply got translated to the group, the lady who asked the question, and most of the rest of the group, looked startled, as they realised that this was true for them. This is not at all unusual, as many people don’t know how to forgive, simply because they have never been shown a method. The meeting then turned into a mini-workshop on how to forgive.

If forgiveness is not already a part of your normal life you need a method to learn it properly. Unless well-practised and skilled at forgiveness, (and how many of us can claim that?) we cannot rely on the inspiration of the moment, when we are trying to forgive, because are we are likely to be too upset. It is difficult and often impossible to feel inspired with higher feelings and impulses when we are upset. Therefore, most people need to a method in order to be able to forgive. The method, helps to focus our attention on the process of forgiveness whether we are upset or not.

A method that which takes us through the forgiveness process, step-by-step, helps take our attention of our upset about what has happened (whether we are forgiving ourselves or someone else) and is often an essential key to being able to forgive. The process helps us let go of our upset, regain our peace of mind and deal more clearly with the situation at hand.

Forgiving Yourself

Often when we need to forgive someone else, we need to forgive ourselves too.

Forgiving yourself is not only very important; it often an essential part of forgiving others. Often when we need to forgive someone else, we need to forgive ourselves too. This is because we may be judging ourselves for letting something bad happen to us. We might have had a warning, or seen signs that something was not right, but we went ahead anyway and are now judging ourselves harshly for our mistake. In order to complete our process of forgiving the other person, we often need to also forgive ourselves.

It turns out that Self Forgiveness is one of the most generous and unselfish things you can do. As we learn to forgive ourselves, we become more alive and have more to give to life and to those we care about. We become more “present” for others and they gain more from us as we learn to express and share our greater level of aliveness. Our free Ebook, The Four Steps to Forgiveness, will show you how to Forgive Yourself.

Does God Forgive Me?

The best remorse is a life well-lived.

Some religious people wonder if God forgives them, or they might wonder if only God can forgive. If we judge ourselves then, surely we need to forgive ourselves too? Why assume that we have the right to judge ourselves (and many of us get very good at that) but not the right to forgive ourselves? Of course, there is the issue of whether God also forgives is even if we forgive ourselves. Most religious teachers say that in order to receive forgiveness we need to become forgiving of others. Therefore, the best guarantee of being forgiven by God is to forgive others. In order to forgive others, we often also need to forgive ourselves (making amends where appropriate). Therefore, the best way ahead is to learn how to forgive as best we can, forgive everyone we can, live the best life we can and trust in God’s goodness.

Do You Want to Learn How to Forgive?

The ability to forgive is a very powerful and effective way to change your life for the better. There is a large body of scientific research which shows that it can help with many modern day issues such as mental health and even physical health issues. Some want to learn how to forgive for spiritual or religious reasons; some want to learn to forgive for the psychological or physical health benefits that it will bring them. In order to meet this need, we offer our method, The Four Steps to Forgiveness, freely and openly, as an ebook, to all. To learn this very effective method which will help you forgive yourself and forgive others, download your copy of our free ebook. The Four Steps to Forgiveness, using the links on this page (The Four Steps to Forgiveness is completely free and you don’t even need to give an email address). Download it now and open yourself to greater peace of mind, happiness and success.

Written by: William Fergus Martin
The Four Steps to Forgiveness is an extract from the book, Forgiveness is Power, also by William Fergus Martin).

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Four Steps to Forgiveness

A powerful way to freedom, happiness and success.

William Fergus Martin

ISBN: 978-1-63443-344-0