Four Steps Worksheet - The Global Forgiveness Initiative

Four Steps to Forgiveness Worksheet

You can get an overview of this worksheet here.

1. Who and What

Think about the person you need to forgive and why you need to forgive them and enter the details below:

I want to forgive ………. (who) for ………. (what you want to forgive them for).

This creates a sentence about who you need to forgive and what you need to forgive them for.

Examples:

I want to forgive Janet for stealing my boyfriend.
I want to forgive John for hitting me when I was a child.
I want to forgive my father for not loving me enough.

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2. Release Possible Blocks

Write a sentence about any feelings which may be in the way of you forgiving this situation, such as anger, pain, fear, envy, wanting vengeance and so on.

I now choose to release my feelings of ……….

Examples:
I now choose to release my feelings of anger and fear.
I now choose to release my feelings of hatred, bitterness and resentment.
I now let go of my feelings of sadness, pain, and misery.

3. Benefits

List the reasons you want to be able to forgive and then create a sentence out of these. What benefits would you get from forgiving them? How would you feel, how would your attitude be better? How would your behaviour be different? This helps to strengthen your desire and motivation to forgive.

Make a sentence with a list of benefits you will obtain from forgiving. Do this by completing the sentence below with a list of the feelings which you expect to have once you have forgiven. Preferably state positive feelings rather than lack of negative feelings (“more peaceful” rather than “less fearful”).

I acknowledge that forgiving this situation will benefit me as I will feel ……….

Examples:

I acknowledge that forgiving my mother benefits me as I will feel happier, healthier and more peaceful.
I see that forgiving John benefits me as I will feel free, loving and able to get on with my life.

4. Commitment

Create a sentence to affirm and confirm your intention to forgive.

I commit myself to forgiving ……….[person] and I accept the peace and freedom which forgiveness brings.

In this sentence you declare your intention to forgive the person and affirm your choice to live life from a wiser and higher perspective.

Example: I commit to forgiving Janet and I accept the peace and freedom which forgiveness brings.

Build Your Forgiveness Declaration

You now build a Forgiveness Declaration by combining the sentences you created above.

_Example 1:
_I want to forgive Janet for stealing my boyfriend.
I now choose to release my feelings of bitterness and resentment.
I acknowledge that forgiveness benefits me as I will feel happier, healthier and more peaceful.
I commit myself to forgiving Janet and I accept the peace and freedom which forgiveness brings.

Example 2:

I want to forgive my father for not loving me enough.
I now choose to release my feelings of anger, disappointment and resentment.
I acknowledge that forgiveness benefits me as I will feel free, loving and more alive.
I commit myself to forgiving my father and I accept the peace and freedom which forgiveness brings.

Practise

Choose how long you will work with your Forgiveness Declaration (7 days, 21 days, etc) and at what times(s) of the day you will use it. Say it at least three times either out loud or quietly in your mind in each session. If it feels right you can keep repeating the Declaration for 5 or 10 minutes.

As you repeat the Declaration you may notice that your feelings will change (ie, in Step 2 anger changes to frustration and so on). If this happens, just change your wording to match your actual feelings in the moment as best you can.

As part of freeing yourself of old feelings, you may need to do other kinds of emotional release such as talking things over with a friend or even seeing a therapist. As you work with this, you may find unexpected feelings and long forgotten memories arise. Just let them pass or find support if you need it. If you believe in a higher power it is only natural you want that to be part of your Forgiveness process. Simply add a sentence at the end such as, “I ask God’s help in forgiving and in becoming free”, or “I invite and accept God’s grace in helping me to forgive.”

Written by: William Fergus Martin