Four Steps Worksheet

Why You Can't Forgive

Four Steps to Forgiveness Worksheet

You can get an overview of this worksheet here.

1. Who and What

Think about the person you need to forgive and why you need to forgive them and enter the details below:

I want to forgive ………. (who) for ………. (what – what you want to forgive them for).

This creates a sentence about who you need to forgive and what you need to forgive them for.


I want to forgive Janet for stealing my boyfriend.
I want to forgive John for hitting me when I was a child.
I want to forgive my father for not loving me enough.

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2. Current Unhappy Feelings

Write a list of any unhappy feelings which you currently have about the situation.  Could be anger, resentment, pain, fear, vengeful  and so on.

List of current unhappy feelings:


3. Benefits

List the benefits you would get for forgiving this situation.  What benefits would you get from forgiving them? How would you feel, how would your attitude be better? How would your behaviour be different? This helps to strengthen your desire and motivation to forgive.

You might write: peace, freedom, happiness… etc.

List of benefits:



4. Forgiveness Affirmation

Pick two of the most appealing benefits which you wrote in Step 3 and make an affirmation out of them:

I forgive ……….[name] and I accept the [benefits] which forgiveness brings.

For example if you were forgiving someone called Janet and the two benefits you choose, from Step 3, were “peace, freedom” you would write:

I forgive Janet and I accept the peace and freedom which forgiveness brings.

Say this affirmation to yourself slowly in the silence of your mind at least three times. Then return to Step 1, keep going through the steps, changing the wording you previously wrote at each step if something else occurs to you. Keep going round the steps till you feel clear.


As you go around the steps again, you may notice that your feelings change (they may become more intense or less intense or you become aware of other feelings). If this happens, just change your wording to match your actual feelings in the moment.

As part of freeing yourself of old feelings, you may need to do other kinds of emotional release such as talking things over with a friend or even seeing a therapist. As you work with this, you may find unexpected feelings and long forgotten memories arise. Just let them pass or find support if you need it. If you believe in a higher power it is only natural you want that to be part of your Forgiveness process. Simply add a sentence at the end such as, “I ask God’s help in forgiving and in becoming free”, or “I invite and accept God’s grace in helping me to forgive.”

Written by: William Fergus Martin

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Four Steps to Forgiveness

A powerful way to freedom, happiness and success.

William Fergus Martin

ISBN: 978-1-63443-344-0